I am adding this page here because I need to pause and catch my breath. I find the wiki format difficult. I think I am not used to "thinking in public" which is just how I feel when I write here. I feel "exposed" in a way, as I contribute to these pages. What is odd about it is that when I write, I do like to talk through my thinking. Yet, for me, there is a difference between "talking" and "writing" in that when I write, my words are committed to a page, at least until I erase them.
Writing on this site really puts me on the edge of my comfort zone, and it makes me feel less creative. I am watching what I am thinking. It is slowing me down, and making me second-guess myself.
Do you think your students ever feel this way?
I am not very good about sympathizing with students who are uncomfortable with online writing. Yes, I think that some students feel exactly as you describe; they have told me that they prefer other methods. But there are other students who do not seem to mind. They write very spontaneously in any application; as long as they do not have to write out an outline or plan their discussion, they like to write on the screen. For these students, I do not think it matters whether they are online or not. They are used to editing as they write and are not used to slowing down and doing more deliberate editing. They do not like to think about their audience. To address your comment further, our differences may simple be the result of personality. I have no fear of looking foolish in front of my peers--whether that is online, in a workshop, or in a meeting. I am rarely self-conscious, to an extreme. In fact, I often point out my mistakes to my peers--I assume (not necessarily correctly) that my peers will treat my mistakes with humor and generosity.Plus, I like the experience of being a bit out of my comfort zone. However, when I am confronted by a peer who challenges me and expresses disapproval, it is a disturbing experience. I think that in the online environment, we could easily open ourselves up to this kind of challenge, but so far, in my experience, most people do behave with courtesy and understanding.
True. Still, I can't help but wonder how my writing process is affected by the medium, how it feels slowed down, and even censured. I think some students would genuinely struggle with the medium, and we should be prepared to provide them with examples of what they could do when their self-consciousness takes over their creative process...
I wondered whether I was so enamored of technology (this wiki) that my writing process changed without my awareness, so I have written out the steps in my writing below. While there are some new additions to my process, the core steps are the same. I think this confirms my argument that the experience of online writing is influenced by personal reactions. But isn't this true in the case of our students even when they write in an traditional, academic format (which is not usually public). They may still be very self-conscious or uncomfortable. As teachers, though, students are more likely to admit discomfort with technology than they might with a writing assignment they are expecting.
My steps:
1. For the wiki, Corinne and I discuss topics and I create page titles. Did some reading and thinking.
2. I choose two pages to work on, online. I don't draft anything offline, except for short notes.
3. Corrine responds using the threads.
4. We meet and discuss each others' plans.
5. I work on my next draft, online.
6. I go back and do some deeper reading; Corinne suggests some titles and I find resources in our library ebooks.
7. After reading and note-taking, I post some more replies and some new threads. Then I check out what Corinne is
writing.
8. I review my pages and edit for clarity, as well as do proof-reading several times. I also add new material (this is
ongoing).
9. We discuss how to use the wiki in a presentation.
10. I start wondering how it might look to others.
11. We continue the cycle until we run out of time (add new material, move items around, create graphics, edit, proof-
read).
My process
1. Taimi and I talk about the project.
2. I do some library research, do some background reading.
3. Spend several days thinking about what I have read.
4. Look at the wiki and the pages Taimi created. I am drawing a blank.
5. Share some of what I have read with Taimi through threads. Not sure what I am doing. Feel discouraged.
6. Meet with Taimi to talk about the project. I am inspired! Taimi encourages me to write in the pages.
7. Do more reading, and decide to contribute to the public writing page. I mostly share info from one of the sources I
read. I report more than analyze. I think in terms of questions. I go blank again.
8. Next day: back to write some more. Get stuck.
9. Next day: Read some more. Add a bit more to the Public writing page. Get stuck and frustrated and create
Reflection page so I can vent!
10. Start a PowerPoint using what I put on the wiki. Cut and past from the wiki to PowerPoint. Reorganize ideas in the power point. Then go back to wiki and reorganize pages there also. I start with the Public writing page. Cut sections out and move them to the teaching and assessment page. I go back to the public writing page and reorganize what is left. Talk to Taimi about using "you". Decide to edit. I start with the public writing page. Back to the teaching page again for coherence. Then editing... I am sifting, doing, undoing and redoing. Now I feel like I am going through my regular writing process!
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a conversation
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Oct 16 2008, 10:37 PM EDT by
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Thread started: Oct 16 2008, 10:37 PM EDT
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We just had an interesting conversation about this topic of writing and anxiety--and it was done face-to-face! So I am going to try and summarize. Corinne seems to be saying that she--and any of our students--face the formal writing assignment and have trouble writing drafts or writing online. She wants her writing to reach a high level of professionalism before it is seen, so I think she hates to put just anything down on the wiki. Unlike a private draft, the wiki is always public. She suggested that students often feel similarly about writing for a professor--they are worried that their paper needs to be "perfect." I think that when students are asked to create online documents (web pages or wikis) that they lose this self-criticism or self-restraint and feel free (overly free) to write however they want. They have a tendency to treat any online work as if it were their personal blog or Myspace page. They have no fear! In a way, I sympathize. The writing that I am doing for the wiki and that I see on other faculty wikis--this writing is not peer-reviewed as a journal article would be. I believe that the writing topic should be treated seriously and I want my writing to be clear, but it does not have to be perfect. I think that my peers understand that. Perhaps I am wrong!
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